Monday, July 30, 2012

"things fall apart"

There is a book by that title, and while I have never read it (and therefore have limited knowledge of what it's about) I have often used that phrase as a mantra when life seems to, well, be falling apart. This past month I have murmured it under my breath more than once when things don't seem so be coming together in the way that I had initially hoped. But these past few days I find the opposite squeaking its way through my lips. "Things come together".
My father always told me as I grew up that 'life can change in an instant'. When I have described this to people in the past, they usually look at me sideways, and wonder about what he had meant. It was often not meant in a positive way, but more with the idea that you could slip and fall and become paralyzed, or any moment you might receive a phone call that a loved one has passed. And what he meant to impart upon me, and the lesson I took away, was to never take anything for granted. No matter how angry you are with a loved one, always end the argument with an "I love you". Take pleasure in the things you enjoy about life, and don't dwell on the negative. Because things could always be worse. You could be in a Turkish prison. And it works. I don't think there are many people out there who could say I don't appreciate the small things, or try at every juncture to remind the people I care about that I do, in fact care. Maybe it comes off as clingy, or naive. I just think it's consciousness.
But luckily that insight does often have positive repercussions. Sometimes it is the most simple things that lead to life-changing events. And that is where I find myself. While I might not be in the most optimal situation, I am on my way. A new city, 2 (possibly 3) new jobs, and a home on the horizon. Check back in 2 months and ask me. Ask me if those potlucks/birthdays/blah blah blahs I gave up all those months back in expectation of bigger things, ask me if it was worth it. I can guarantee the answer will be yes.

Things come together. Finally.